Thoughts on pregnancy after loss
A little over a year ago we cautiously announced our pregnancy to everyone when I was 18 weeks pregnant and wouldn't you know, it upset some people that we waited so long to tell everyone.
You see this was our rainbow baby, our first pregnancy after experiencing two miscarriages and spending years battling infertility. While we were over the moon that we had made it to the second trimester for the first time, the fear and sadness was always in the back of our minds.
The two years leading up to my pregnancy were the craziest, most emotional years of our lives (and I say this having just been through the newborn stage with my son). They consisted of rounds of hormones, pills, and injections, timed IUIs and two subsequent pregnancy losses. I was traveling over an hour round trip, 3-4 days a week to see a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor and have acupuncture done. I was burning paid time off from work visiting the fertility clinic (three towns over) almost every day for bloodwork, ultrasounds, and exams. I was battling the insurance company over coverage. The medications were causing hair loss, weight gain, and extreme hormonal mood swings. I was exhausted, stressed, and sad all the time.
I know it difficult it is to support a loved one dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss. There never seems to be the right words and too often well meaning words can come out offensive. In fact my husband and I would have a good laugh at some of the outrageous things people would say to us without thinking. I'm here to tell you though, that is never, under any circumstance ok for you to get upset with someone for not sharing their pregnancy announcement with you sooner.
To those that were upset we chose to wait to tell you about our pregnancy: Yes I finally had a successful IUI. I had my BFP and lines that kept getting darker and darker each day. What you didn't know is I saved each test and obsessively examined the lines, terrified of them growing fainter again instead of stronger. Everyday of those first 4 months I wanted to shout a pregnancy announcement from the rooftops but was also terrified of somehow jinxing myself and so I held out. The thing about multiple pregnancy loss is those two pink lines instill fear and joy in you in equal amounts. And fear and joy battle it out throughout your entire pregnancy. I panicked at every strange new sensation I felt and cried happy tears at every kick I felt and I took absolutely nothing for granted.
My best suggestion for comforting someone who is battling infertility? A big hug and an open ear. Bring over some food and let them talk. Be silent and do not minimize their loss.
We are in the thick of it with our sweet 8 month old baby boy, but on the final day of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I can't help but think about how many others are going through hard times right now. I worry too about what might be in store for us as we try for our second baby. Hugs to all my fellow TTC sisters, no matter what side of the journey you may be on.
Hi friends! I recently became a consultant with Beautycounter and wanted to share a little bit more information with you about why I love this company and the products we sell.
As many of you know, we struggled for years to get pregnant with our son, going through grueling fertility treatments and suffering multiple pregnancy losses and we were desperately looking into anything and everything that could help us get- and stay- pregnant. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), an endocrine disorder that causes hormonal imbalances, infertility, acne, obesity and can often lead to diabetes and heart disease. Every doctor we went to told me that the best thing I could do was focus on wellness and so I began eating clean organic foods, staying active, taking high quality vitamins and supplements, and using acupuncture. One morning my husband watched me get ready for work and made a comment about all of the personal care products I was using, and how they couldn’t possibly all be safe and I realized I was neglecting to look at what I was putting ON my body.
Did you know that your skin is your body’s largest and fastest-growing organ? The personal care products and cosmetics you put onto your skin are absorbed into your bloodstream. What you put onto your body doesn’t just stay on your body, it goes into it, too. I started looking at the labels on the products I was using and found chemicals known to cause cancer, birth defects, hormone disruptions, infertility and even damaged sperm!
I discovered Beautycounter products when they made a limited time appearance at Target a couple of years ago. Beautycounter is a line of safe, effective and luxurious skincare and cosmetics for the entire family that bans over 1,500 of these dangerous chemicals in their products and has the strictest screening process of ingredients out there. You can read more about Beautycounter's story here.
I care so deeply about my family and friends being able to control some of our environment, and I’m so grateful that Beautycounter is here, and providing these gorgeous, safe products. In our busy, hectic lives we don’t have the time to think about these things, and switching the products my family and I use over has brought me peace of mind and the ability to focus on other important things. I would love for you to feel the same way.
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Today is the last day of September, PCOS Awareness month, so I thought I would share my story with you. Aside from my family, I've kept my story mostly to myself, largely because it's not exactly something that comes up in conversation. As I begin the next phase of my life and face the hand I have been dealt, I am opening up in hopes of connecting with other women going through a similar struggle with PCOS. You are not alone.
"Where there is no struggle, there is no strength" - Oprah Winfrey
I'm Jayne, a 30 something Executive Assistant living in New England with my husband, Mike, our sweet miracle baby and our Labrador Retriever. I have a passion for nontoxic living. I love coffee, recorded TV, baking, red wine, vegetarian cooking, online shopping, fashion & beauty.